A Modest Proposal

Saturn:

Latin Name: Saturnus
Height: 6'3''
Weight: 210 lbs
Diet: Babies
Lifespan: Eternity
Top Speed: 16 mph
IQ: 130

Strengths: Amongst the beasts of the forest, Saturn is the only one that is also a Roman god. As the god of the harvest, he carries with him at all times a sickle, which is far from limited to horticultural use. Saturn is pretty much the most ferocious of all the gods. He castrated his father (undoubtedly with his sickle) and threw his genitals into the ocean just cause he felt like it. After that, some fool told him that one of his own sons would overthrow him as chief titan. So what did Saturn do? He ate all his babies. Archaeologists later determined that Saturn didn't even do this in fear of patricide; he just happened to be feeling particularly badass.

Weaknesses: Unfortunately, Saturn's youngest son turned out to be Jupiter, who is very mighty himself. When Saturn tried to eat him, his mother replaced the baby Jupiter with a rock. Such was Saturn's demise. Saturn's vulnerabilities are few but fatal. These weaknesses include his foolish trust in women, his insatiable hunger for babies, and rocks.