Daughter of Levi

If pitbulls' nipples were any bigger, kids would bounce around on them at carnivals.

If I were abandoned as a baby and raised by wild dogs, I'd want my wet nurse to be a pitbull. Her giant nipples would keep me sheltered and warm and nourished. Of course, I'd be a wild, feral baby. Neither man nor beast would ever fully accept me. The dogs would always be jealous of my opposable thumbs and man-like intelligence, while the humans would covet my dog abilities like predicting earthquakes and talking to dogs. It's a good thing my wet nurse would eat me before any of that could happen.