Phaedrus

The Narwhal:

Latin Name: Monodon monoceros
Height: 16 feet (length)
Weight: 3000 lbs
Diet: cod, squid
Lifespan: 50 years
Top Speed: 20 mph (water), 2 mph (land)
IQ: 80

Strengths: On the list of all the beasts you would not want to run into at night, while walking through the forest, the narwhal would definitely be somewhere near the top. The "corpse whale" (as it translates from Old Norse) is donned with a 10 foot tusk on the front of its head that could easily put out the eye of any foe. The dense calcium of which the tusk is composed is strong enough to tear through the hull of an ocean liner like a stick of butter. This, of course, works to the almost unlimited advantage of the narwhal. Scientists theorize that only a structure of solid diamond could keep a narwhal captive. Unfortunately this can never be tested, as it would take a vessel of similar constitution to arrest the beast in the first place. And as we learned in Titanic, diamond sinks.

Weaknesses: It has recently become known that the narwhal's tusk contains as many nerve-endings as its reproductive organs. It serves the narwhal not only in combat, but also as a means of homosexual intercourse. In a gay ritual termed "tusking," entire pods of male narwhals meet at a secret location to rub their tusks together and bask in the erotic glory of sodomitic lovemaking. But do not blame the narwhal. He was born this way, and did not choose his orientation. "I wish I could quit you!," they shout, mid-coitus.
This does not create a deficit of might, per se, but one of power and influence. As a result of their overwhelming homosexuality, narwhals are imprisoned beneath a glass ceiling. For example, a narwhal can never be a boy scout leader, or pope, or president.