He's president of the NRA for a reason

The Chimpanzee:

Latin Name: Pan troglodytes
Height: 4 feet
Weight: 150 lbs
Diet: Termites, Fruit, Other Monkeys
Lifespan: 50 years
Top Speed: 25 mph
IQ: 75

Strengths: The Chimpanzee shares about 98% of its DNA with humans. This gives it incredible mind powers and opposable thumbs. This deadly combination comes together to form the most lethal asset of the chimpanzee's arsenal: the ability to use tools (i.e. flamethrowers, grenades, laser guns). Chimpanzees often find themselves so bored in the forest that they must pass the time by planning and executing full scale battles against rival tribes. Not unlike their cousins, the Aztecs, they mercilessly bash the heads of their opponents with rocks and the losers are then eaten. If they are willing to do this to their own, what will they do... to you?
After thirty-eight years in the forest, amongst these beasts, Jane Goodall brings to humankind one indispensable piece of advice: do not fuck with the chimps.

Weaknesses: Unfortunately, the 98% of the DNA they share with us does not include the formation of a prefrontal cortex. Ala Phineas Gage, chimps are easily upset and are quite unable to focus their attention on any one thing for very long. This is when the remaining 2% regains the beast and they take to autoeroticism and fecal consumption. In battle, this distraction has proven quite the folly.